Missing her so much!

This was once a woman I meet during my interview for working scholar application. At first glance, she seems to be so strict and doesn’t even know how to smile. But then again I kept my poise and answer her with my satisfying responses. After all, she’s going to be my mentor and my head supervisor in her office. At my first few weeks, I can tell she’s indeed strict especially on office rules and attendance. I felt I’m going to lose it (my scholarship) but I keep going on with it because this is the only way I knew where I can finish my college. Yes, I am a working assistant in her office. As time passed by, I begin to know her more and realized that the first impressions never last. She is caring and lovable – just like my mother. She is also a good counselor and a good friend. She is also pretty especially when she smiles.

I also remember the time when we shared stories with each other every lunch time. Also, the pressures we shared during office hours and the relief we felt after every successful task. Haayyzz, I miss them all so much.

Wonder who she is? She is none other than (drum roll) Engr. Coleta “Bea” Y. Lim-Esplanada. She is the IMC – Chair, Residuum Coordinator and the former Mathematics Department Chair in Cebu Institute of Technology. She is my second mother whom I cherished very much, my mentor who molded me into a better person and a model whom I followed and dreamed to be like her.

I miss you, Ma’am Bea!
Hope to see you soon.
mwahhugz!

Jesus in my life

Before I accepted Christ Jesus in my life, I am living my life on my own. I study at school, do assignments and school projects, going to malls, concerts, videoke bars, etc. But I suffer more on worries and anxieties. Worrying in debts, projects, tasks or the future itself. Worst, I am a sinner and remained a slave of sin. I can’t say no to things I know not good and not pleasing to God.But now I have Jesus in my life sitting on the throne in my heart, I have life in harmony. Nothing to worry about anything, school, projects, debts, even now in my work as a programmer. Plus, I am living in abundance, though sometimes I am in trouble in terms with money but I only pray to God and He provides.See how Jesus himself changed my life. Of course He can do the change in your life. All you have to do is accept Him as your Saviour, let Him rule your life and that’s it.
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Jesus in my life

Before I accepted Christ Jesus in my life, I am living my life on my own. I study at school, do assignments and school projects, going to malls, concerts, videoke bars, etc. But I suffer more on worries and anxieties. Worrying in debts, projects, tasks or the future itself. Worst, I am a sinner and remained a slave of sin. I can’t say no to things I know not good and not pleasing to God.

But now I have Jesus in my life sitting on the throne in my heart, I have life in harmony. Nothing to worry about anything, school, projects, debts, even now in my work as a programmer. Plus, I am living in abundance, though sometimes I am in trouble in terms with money but I only pray to God and He provides.

See how Jesus himself changed my life. Of course He can do the change in your life. All you have to do is accept Him as your Saviour, let Him rule your life and that’s it.
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Self Confidence

Noun: self-confidence `self'kón-fi-dun(t)s
A freedom from doubt and having a belief in yourself and your abilities.

Sounds like a very common word we have today and frequently applied in our everyday lives. It gives worth to you and pride for yourself. But how are you going to rate your confidence when you’re asked how confident you are in a certain thing? For example, in doing some things you usually love to do. For my case is drawing some gown designs on my own. It is not some kind of fashion design thingy but rather it is just merely a simple drawing. Some may be a copy of other’s design but I just tend to draw it for fun. I’ll just think of something that might make me look great if ever I am given a chance to wear it. But surely, how confident am I to show my works to others, especially to my closest friends? I know how to draw or I don’t know that I can draw, but I keep on telling myself that my drawings don’t deserve praise, not until our professor in Arts Appreciation says that I can really draw. That adds up my confidence in drawing and made me tell to myself that I should continue on it and strive to leave more about it. But there are also some factors, like lack of time that could hinder my striving to learn in drawing. Honestly, I dreamt of being a good painter someday ever since when I was in elementary but I can’t boost my confidence then so I’d keep it myself instead. There are also chances that my works in drawing would reveal especially during art work activities in elementary and high school. My friends as well as my teachers would encourage me to go on with this habit. I go on it but later on, slowly failing and started to give up. After another art work activities, my confidence then re-boost and fail and the cycle way round loops. Until such time when I go to college, it was during the time when I have to decide which college curricular program I should take, that made me decide that this thing I love to do is something that serves as my hobby to recreate a fun day for myself. I will draw whenever I wanted to and I should give a very good reward for myself and not to please anyone else. It is between me and me anyway. Hmm, sounds selfish huh? But we all know that we cannot please everybody. I don’t have the courage to show my art works to anyone, even to my family and to my closest and best friends. I can only appreciate it myself.

The question now is where is the confidence? Do I have a doubt on myself and not to believe on my abilities? Well, I can say that I could be proud my abilities if somebody else would appreciate my works. It may sounds like I’m a loser for someone else out there but I can’t help it. Maybe I should gain more self-esteem that could boost up my self confidence thereon. But taking it too much is a no-no!